I have some really cool people in my life. Some of my closest friends are singers in famous punk rock bands...some are world class martial artists and professional fighters...some are published authors and speakers and some are health & wellness experts while others are spiritual leaders... and then there are my clients. I have the most amazing clients I could ever ask for. I truly am blessed. So I am going to share a story about a client..I'm also going to share a few tips and one real controversial tip that some people are criticizing me for.
I just got back from a morning session with Patty who I have been working with for years. The first thing I asked her when she came in the door was a question I suggest you ask yourself:
What do you know FOR SURE is working in your life?
Think about food, habits, lifestyle, mindset and exercise.
Here is what Patty had to say:
1) Planning – plan your food shopping and when you will eat. Don’t try to wing it. Plan it. You have heard this before: failing to plan is planning to fail.
2) Don’t go hungry – eat often and bring food with you when traveling or at work so you don’t end up hungry and make bad choices which usually involves sugar or caffeine.
3) Shopping – we live in New York City and there are health food stores, farmers markets and even the occasional dinosaur known as grocery stores/supermarkets. These places are kinda weird if you ask me, its an entire store that has 90% of devoted to packed processed garbage and occasionally you will find one small section called ‘health food’ This begs the question, if the small section in these monster sized stores is ‘health’ food, what the hell do you call the rest of the stuff in there?
4) Announcing / Accountability – Patty said when she announces her commitments to the PEOPLE THAT SHE ALREADY KNOWS ARE SUPPORTIVE, she gets the support she needs to stay focused and consistent. She also sees me often because I keep her accountable for her decisions.
NOTE – not everyone will support you and in fact, some of the closest friends and family may discourage your efforts.
Then she told me her greatest challenge is when she travels with her family on the weekends. Her family likes to eat junk food and will make fun of her for choosing foods that radically improve your health, vitality, focus, energy levels, prevent premature aging and prevent the disease that is plaguing this country primarily resulting from processed, chemicalized junk food. (I think I just made that word up.)
I shared with her a controversial strategy that works really well every time…once you get past the common misconceptions, I suggest you learn how to be much more SELFISH.
The common definition of selfish implies that you disregard other people’s well being, but I have a very different definition.
Being more selfish…which I strongly encourage everyone to do…means, in my definition, to put yourself as your highest priority in life which ultimately allows you to give more back to the world and offers far more benefits for other peoples’ well being.
Placing yourself above everyone else means you will be taking more responsibility in your life and improving your life, your heath and overall happiness. And yes, some people will get pissed off at you and think you are cold and callous for not sacrificing yourself to take care of them and their drama.
But remember this – its better that other people feel bad than it is for you to feel bad… because you either feel emotionally bad (guilty) about choices you made or feel physically bad like stomach ache, headache or feeling fat after eating garbage only because you were too embarrassed to do the right thing for yourself.
Being selfish allows you to design and live according to your own plan, instead of someone else’s plan – and that is an act of self respect and love.
This way, you will have more love to give to your friends and family; more energy to devote to the things that you love and to others that want your attention; you will be setting a better example for your friends and family to follow; you will be a leader instead of a follower and that does more for this world than any act of martyrdom, sacrifice and putting others needs above yourself will ever do.
And yes, I work with families and kids and I say the exact same thing to them. This way you teach your children to have a strong sense of self, improved self esteem, self worth and the world is a much better place because of this.
Now don’t go to the extreme and think I’m talking about ignoring your children when they need you…
Here is the exercise I gave her to do over the weekend and I also suggest you go through this. It will change your life.
Make a list of all the DRAWBACKS of subordinating yourself to others and trying to lease others while sacrificing yourself…of not living your dream and having the health & wellness you deserve..find the habits or things in your life that you don’t like and come up with a list of at least 100 drawbacks.
Go through all areas of life:
Spiritual, Personal, Physical, Career, Financial, Social, Relationships
Next, go through and write out a list of all the BENEFITS that come with living from your heart, following your dream, making yourself your highest priority and doing exactly what it takes to be healthy, vital, and strong regardless of the criticisms and negativity that will come your way.
Benefits and Drawbacks. Don’t just think about it, write them down on paper.
Want to see radical improvements in your life? Do this exercise.
The more answers you come up with the better off you will be and sooner you will see changes.
Then go back to the first question I asked Patty this morning:
What do you know for sure that is working in your life?
I would love to hear your answers…please comment below by typing in your name, email (will not be published) and tell me what you know FOR SURE is working in your life.